Okay, so get this: two days ago I had to go on splits. Elder Carter and I went to teach two appointments while Elder Mitchell went with one of our ward mission leaders to teach some Swahilli lady the gospel. In the first lesson, there was this punk 13/14 year old who just recently got baptized and his eight year old cousin. During the lesson I was moved to chastize the punk kid for not caring. I told him that the reason why we pray, read the scriptures, and go to church is so that God can help us with our lives. I told him that God does care about us and wants us to be happy (which the kid was not). I said, that if we don't care about God, God cannot help us (it was here I probably should have said 'will not'). Near the end I asked both the kids what missionaries do. They responded: that we share God's words with everyone. I asked: how long are we missionaries for. They responded: two years. Then I asked them what we gave up for this. They responded: video games, school, cars, sports, jobs, girls... namely girls. I then asked them, would they give that all up for two years? They didn't respond. I asked: who in their right mind would give all that up for two years? I then asked Elder Carter why he gave all that up. He said because God told him to and he wanted to do what God wanted. I then looked at the kids and asked them if they wanted to know why I gave that up. They said yes. I said I gave all that up, I gave everything up, because this was true. What I was teaching was true. I would not give up cars, school, friends, family, girls, video games, movies, music, girls, dungeons and dragons, the beach, and girls up for two years to tell people lies. It's not worth it. Unless it were true. Elder Carter looked at me as realization sank in as to why he was out and the other people in the room grew silent. We said a closing prayer and as we were leaving, the grandpa told me that I hit the nail on the head.
I had a similar lesson for our last lesson of the night. I would teach with short simple truths that hit home. It was a Less Active couple who just had a baby. The mother asked me about how could a family be seperated if they didn't make it into the Celestial Kingdom. Instead of telling her everything I knew on the subject I simply asked: Does God love you? She of course said yes. I asked: Does God want you to be happy? With more hesitation she said yes. I then asked her: What would make you happy most of all? She responded: To be with my family forever. I then told her: That's all I need to know. The Spirit was super strong and you could see the comfort in her eyes.
But of course there must needs be opposition in all things. We were late. We got home at around 9:40 pm and Elder Mitchell was furious at Elder Carter for making us late. Of course I talked way more than Elder Carter then but Elder Mitchell only had daggers for one person. When we got home, he blew up. He was yelling, Elder Carter was yelling, and I tried to make myself as small a target as possible.
What came next is a bit of a suprise to me. Where there was a break in the yelling, I asked Elder Carter to go down stairs. He gladly accepted. I then talked to Elder Mitchell on what was going on. I told him that both he and Elder Carter were right and yet we were all wrong together. The mission has broken us. It has broken us again and again and again and we're the only ones who could have glued ourselves together until we became what we are. Elder Carter wasn't broken. He still believes in the ideals that I used to have in a mission. So the question was were we the ones who were going to break him or was the mission going to. Of course I prefer it if nothing broke him but if it came down to the two, which could I stand. After talking with Elder Mitchell some more, he had this sad look in his eyes and he understood. He understood Elder Carter's point of view. He understood what he just did. So I told him that I was going to go down and talk with Elder Carter and then afterwards we would come to a mutual agreement. He said he was fine with that.
I then went down to Elder Carter and I told him about the same thing and the same thing happend to him. His eyes were sad because he understood. So we went up and I was suprised to see that Elder Mitchell had gotten him a glass of water. We then sat down and I began to tell them what I liked about them and what I needed help on. Then Elder Mitchell did the same thing followed by Elder Carter. After we were all done I told them that there were several things we needed to understand. First was that we were a companionship and that took precidence over everything. The second thing is that we all have our own beliefs and that we shouldn't shun anyone for their beliefs or try and force our own onto them. We just needed to accept that we're different and like each other for our differences. The last thing I told them is that we have a golden opportunity ahead of us. We're the only companionship in the mission who is a threesome and covering four stakes. It's almost as if our leaders gave us too much work to see us fail. Well... I didn't come this far to fail now. If we worked together, we could have a ton of work and eventually say to our leaders "ha ha! You tried to break us but we overcame this."
I did this because I'm tired of the worlds ideals. I still have this stupid notion that the strong protect the weak and defend the defenseless. I hate how it seems like the comic book way should only stay in the comics. Most of my life I've been beaten down by those who should have been my friends. So I'm going to be the change I want to see in the world. I'm going to change the world. And if any trial comes in my way that's too hard for me to handle, I'll just remember the phrase that I came up with for this: How do you know when you're doing what's right? When life sucks.
Later everyone.
Me
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